Tweets

Sometimes I tweet instead of blog, because random (or not so random) phrases will come to mind, or a lyric from a song, or a saying that I was thinking about writing down later, or just plain complaints. All of them have to do with whatever I'm feeling at the time. I am so emotional that I barely understand anything but feelings. I don't understand how someone can make a decision without first feeling something about it. But that's me. I realize that plenty of people aren't like that. The thing is, I should probably put all of this energy into blogging or my screenplays or my journal. Or if I'm going to explode tweets everywhere, making a mess, I might as well copy some of them into my journal, or at least explain what each one of them means. So here's some tweet from the last week, with explanations:

Just walked back with five bags of groceries and I don't think I'm in good shape. #myshouldershurt. -->I hate grocery shopping. I wanted to stalk up so I didn't have to go again for the next two weeks. I guess I thought I could handle walking back with all of that.

True Grit 1969 is far better than this Coen Brothers - thing. I wish this younger generation could appreciate the beauty of the original.
6 Feb -->I don't think I have to explain this too much. Everyone I know likes the new True Grit. Even that father of mine who raised me on John Wayne. Not to say that I'm a John Wayne fan. But there's some nostalgia there.

I'm diggin' your laugh and I'm lovin' your quick wit. I even love it when you're fakin' it. #IckyThump 8 Feb --> The White Stripes broke up on February 2nd. Since then I've been having a marathon. I didn't particularly feel like the lyrics suggest at the moment toward any particular person but I would like to.

Getting an eerie feeling that I'm being watched or something.
8 Feb --> My Skype status is always set to online. Hardly ever are other people onlline unless I set up a time with them, but when they are online, I mistakenly think that they can hear me. Though I know they can't until we are on the phone.

@cliffy4all and not anymore. :/
8 Feb --> Was skyping, and was not anymore. Nadia and Cliff's internet sucks.

"I'm getting old, my skin's coming off, nothing makes any sense to me. Nothing makes any sense."
9 Feb --> I feel like Clementine half of the time. On this day I was angry at everything and I felt ugly and stupid.

I wouldn't raise my child inside the city anyway.
10 Feb --> yep. This is a lyric. Regina Spektor, "Boababs." But I really wouldn't. I used to think I would. But not after being here. They really would grow up too fast.

Reading through my old tweets. Why am I so dramatic? Why are there so many typos? #whereismymind 10 Feb --> I didn't like myself while reading them. I suddenly became terrified of becoming my mother.


I would write some more explaining these tweets but I'm dangerously teetering on the edge of becoming a narcissist.

Walls

I haven’t updated in a long time. I apologize for that, really. I am scolding myself for not being more of a regular writer when it comes to writing about my life.
As I settle in to California life I find myself hopeful. I am a bundle of quirks and flaws. I take a long time to adapt to things, I lose focus easily, and I have a hard time making decisions. But luckily, this transition is an improvement from my transition to college. Freshman year, it took a whole semester before I even started feeling comfortable to trust people. This time, it only took a month.
I intern at a company called Industry Entertainment. I read scripts and write coverage for them. My first week was awesome. I work three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 10am – 6pm. At first I thought these days would be long, and that they’d cut in to my lovely days of laziness (though I prefer to call them days I set aside to reflect and have fun) but they don’t seem to be long at all. Working in an office as opposed to working in a cafeteria makes quite a difference. Reading scripts? Hell yeah. My eyes hurt at the end of the day but whatever. On Friday my boss praised me for the coverage I wrote. He was going to give me feedback but couldn’t find anything. He was further impressed that for my first time writing it, I wrote it in two hours. It was then that I realized it was safe for me to let my walls down just a little. I often believe the false statement that since I’m an Ohioan living in LA, I don’t know anything. It was then that I realized - or remembered – that I do know something. It’s not really that big of a deal, but I was pretty encouraged.
What’s great is that I am becoming more focused as I read more scripts for my job. Yes, my mind wanders a lot. Yes, I have to read the same paragraph over and over sometimes. But I feel improvement taking place.
I don’t know what the heck to write about. I’ve wanted to be attached to my next big project for some time now, and I can’t seem to stay put with just one idea. I’ve started three new stories over the last few months. I’m currently trying to stick with my latest. What do I really care about? Going to the Writer’s Guild panel discussion was helpful; particularly hearing Nicole Holofcener (writer of Please Give) and Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network) talk. Nicole said that just she starts writing, takes it one step at a time. She just hears her dialog. I miss the times when I used to do that. I didn’t care about much else. I just did it for fun. That was the stuff that turned out to be the best. But what do I know? I’m still learning, there’s much more to learn. I’ll always be learning.