Today, I returned from my home in Newcomerstown to my home in Canton. I thoroughly enjoyed the time with my family. I also got to spend a whole day with Mallory. That was nice. We went to the Daily Grind, a place which always makes me feel home like.
It feels good to be back. But I feel myself slipping into distraction. I don't want obligations. Ever. I want to be a bum. Okay? Okay.
Over break, I started on a new full length screenplay. The beginning scene involves a woman quitting her job in the middle of the day, running out of the Fashion Bug where she worked. Literally running. In the car, she gets a call from her live-in boyfriend. He tells her about his dream of her leaving him. She continues driving. She doesn't know where she's going; neither do I. The opening lines of the play are: "He hates all the things that I like."
I guess I didn't understand my own reasoning for writing such scenes until recently. It really is easier to leave someone behind if you think they're not understanding you or in your world; or if the little things build up and build up until you realize they're really not that little anymore. And lately I feel misunderstood, the things I want to express underdeveloped and unsaid.
I can't just abandon the things and people in my life just because I become annoyed or bored or tired. I wouldn't want someone to get tired of me.
I'm changing. I become more and more aware of the things I hate and the things I love every day. It's time to be as truthful with others about this as I am with myself. It's time to be honest. Hold your nose, here goes the cold water.
